Don’t make your allies into enemies.

Note: This was first published to my Blogspot blog on October 19, 2013.

Let’s trigger someone.
As a member of the LGBT or radical feminist communities, you are not in a position to know what words, phrases, slang, or colloquialisms are more likely to help convince cis-men to soften or discard their homophobic, transphobic, anti-feminist stance. Many in the LGBT and feminist community like to claim that if you are not part of their community, you have no right to decide what language or actions can be used in support of their cause.

I say the opposite.

As a white-cis man, I am in exactly the right position to have a better idea of what will help other white-cis men to change their views. How do I know this? I’ve proven it. I have seen my homophobic, racist brother slowly change his views over time; largely because of discussions I’ve had with him. Had I used the language and words others seem to think I should have used, or viciously attacked him for his views (I have admittedly been borderline attacking at times), I doubt I would have had the same success. So I ask, what is better – not using “offensive” language, or actually changing someone’s perspective on these issues?

I am an ally to the LGBT and Feminist movement whether you like it or not. I fight every day to change the views of those around me. You may not like the words I use or the tone I take but I honestly don’t give one flying fuck. I have proven that I am an ally with my actions and my results. If you can’t get over the fact I use certain words as weapons in my fight, that’s your issue. If you can’t look past my verbiage to appreciate and respect my intent and the results I have achieved, then you have a problem I cannot help with.

Please keep in mind that if you attack an ally, there is always a chance they may become an enemy. The LGBT and Feminist movements don’t need any more enemies – please learn to graciously accept the ones you have, even if you disagree with their methods, and let’s work towards equality for all humans.

Until next time, keep drinking the Kool-aid.

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